Blog Archive

  • Tightrope. (You don’t look sick…)

    Every day, I walk an invisible tightrope. Step by step, I inch forward, steadying myself, fully aware of the drop below. Chin up. Smile. Do not let the audience see the tremor in my hands or the heaviness in my bones. They expect composure, strength, even grace in this precarious balancing act. So I play…

  • OCD. My Heart. And Me.

    My heart races for two reasons: one, because it can’t always keep rhythm (damn tachycardia), and two, because my mind insists it’s about to stop. I’m open about my heart condition and my mental health, but I rarely talk about how the two gang up on me. Today in therapy, I spent the usual 15–20…

  • Ode to a Cat 

    It’s been over a year since I said goodbye to my best friend. In the moment, and the days following I wasn’t ready to talk about what he meant to me, and how deeply losing him hurt. I am ready now.  When I picked Gus, or rather he picked me, my intention was to help…

  • Me vs. Myself

    “Man vs. Self: a literary term that describes a character’s internal conflict, or the psychological battle they face within their own mind.”  Yup, that’s me, stuck in a literary conflict in the real world. I bet you’re wondering how I got here, all tied up in knots and battling nothing but myself. Allow me to…

  • Vaguely Nauseated and Kicking Ass

    Next week, on September 18th, I will have been vaguely nauseated and kicking ass for six months. Vaguely nauseated? Yes. Zepbound, the weight loss, heart failure, diabetes prevention, fatty liver resolving, ADHD improving, OCD quieting medication I am on, is not all sunshine and weight loss. I spend about 3-4 days after my shot each…

  • Learning to Balance

    The last time I posted on here I was finishing my third week of cardiac rehab. And then, I kind of fell off the planet as far as updates go. There are a couple reasons for that but the big one was the end of the school year followed by intensely focusing on what I…

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