Blog Archive

  • What now?

    Ten days have passed since my family and I had the first of what I now know will be many appointments with my new specialist. My biggest worry about the appointment was that having all of us present would be overkill, that this appointment wouldn’t be all I had made it to be in my…

  • My People : Part 1

    One of the lessons that was hardest for me to get in therapy, was that there is good in all situations. This is a hard thing to believe for someone who has lived a life that has had more than its share of trauma and hard times. It is hard for a brain with C-PTSD…

  • Aunt Mo

    Everything I have said yes to over the last 15 years has been about having more years with my nephews. From the pacemakers, to the ICD, every heart cath, stent ballooning, ER trip, device shock, every test, every blood draw, every new medication, and every side effect has been in the pursuit of more time.

  • The Ugly Truth

    The ugly truth is, all of this is easier without him. Something I have finally allowed myself to admit, to say out loud, to take the first steps to work through. I am not 8 years old anymore and hindsight truly is a gift to vision, and I see clearly that no matter how I…

  • Surprise! You’re sad.

    Lately my feelings have been a jack-in-the-box. Life just keeps turning the crank, and I think I am keeping it all together until suddenly, when I least expect it, pop-goes-my feelings. Usually this happens in the quiet moments before sleep. You know that time, if you’re like me, is some of the only time in…

  • Getting My Sh!t Together.

    Waiting sucks. Waiting with very little information is even worse. A month ago when I had my appointment and was told that it was time to start moving forward with transplant preparations, I delayed that appointment. I could have avoided the wait,  I was offered an appointment only two weeks later. Obviously if I didn’t…

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